Is It Christmas Yet?

It’s no secret that when it comes to Christmas I’m like a little kid. I get all excited usually when December 1st arrives. This year though was different. December 1st arrived and I popped open the first door of my advent calendar to find a Christmas pudding shaped chocolate (yes I still have one!) but I wasn’t excited.

Some angel I munched

I’m blaming work. We’ve had the Christmas trees up in there and hideous Christmas toys that make me want to smash them by driving over them in my mum’s car since the middle of November; that’s just too early. At home we don’t even have our Christmas tree up yet! My sister, Hannah, is still at uni and won’t be back until next weekend. Usually we put the tree up on a Saturday, two weeks before Christmas, but this year we’ll have to put it up on the Sunday, again thanks to work.

It may seem weird but we have very set traditions when it comes to Christmas. The tree is a family thing. We film the whole thing, argue a lot, listen to Christmas music and generally just have fun. On Christmas Eve we have people around and play board games and eat way too much. Christmas day dad hands out the presents. I’ve heard from a lot of people that they wake up, wonder downstairs and just open them. Either that or they’re in piles like my parents had. We always used to around my grandad’s and uncle’s house (he never left home until my grandad died) after opening presents in the morning too. It was a memory I will always hold fondly. Sitting in my grandad’s smoke filled living room, being face molested by his various dogs throughout the years, opening more presents, and seeing family we rarely saw; I miss it. I miss him.

“It’s definitely to do with the shoddy Christmases my parents had.”

Now these aren’t tradtions my siblings and I have created, my parents are responsible for them. It’s definitely to do with the shoddy Christmases my parents had. Mum’s dad would put the tree up on Christmas Eve and take it down Boxing day. Her parents were divorced so she’d spend Christmas between the two families and I can’t begin to imagine what it would be like to not have my parents together. I guess I’m lucky, these days it seems as if marriage means nothing with the majority of my friend’s parents being split up. Dad’s Christmas was a little better, he put the tree up a week before Christmas and it came down the day after his birthday (the 28th which just so happens to be my birthday!). That’s another thing though, he didn’t get a present for his birthday. His parents couldn’t afford to buy him anything so close to Christmas so he got something minor, perhaps a book or something rubbish with his brothers and sisters getting much more as their birthdays were scattered throughout the year. I’m guessing that this was also in part due to his big family. My grandad adopted two kids when they were young; black, which at the time was somewhat controversial.

My dad is the Christmas person in our house. He wraps all the presents — he likes it — and has a mini disc (yes we invested in that dead technology) with around 100 Christmas songs on. He also does the majority of the present shopping to the horror of my mum. Mum is the sensible one. She worries a little too much but she looks after us all, keeping an eye on the money and cooking Christmas dinner.

Wrapping presents <3

I think that has to be my favourite aspect of Christmas actually. Dinner is fantastic and mum always does a fantastic job with little help from us lazy gits. It starts with a very ’70s, very yummy prawn cocktail about an hour before dinner is ready (I always want it sooner but I guess that’s just me being a fat bastard). Then it’s the usual turkey and trimmings topped off with some Christmas pud and clotted cream; mm, mmm. We usually have Christmas cake too and that’s something that’s changing this year. Dad being the Christmas man of the house usually makes the pud and cake but since mum and Sam are diabetic and Hannah hates both of them we’re not bothering this year. Ho Hum.

The food is one thing but it’s nice actually sitting around a table for a change. Christmas and New Year’s are the only days we actually do, kinda sad really but it does make the days special. Crackers are pulled off the tree that we so neatly put up and argued over and the Christmas mini disc goes on. Christmas just wouldn’t be Christmas without the music, I love it (Shakin’ Stevens is playing right now). It wouldn’t be Christmas without the films either. We’re in the midst of watching our massive collection of Christmas movies at the moment and it seems my dad has gone mad and is buying more and more. Still, nothing beats a bit of Home Alone. Then again it wouldn’t be Christmas without the mad rush I usually have to go through as I always leave Christmas present buying until last minute. This year is different though and I’m not sure I like it. I’ve bought the majority of my presents already and our tree isn’t even up yet, they’re all wrapped too.

This year is different though and maybe it’s not a bad thing, we’re not having ’stockings’ either, which were essentially pillow cases filled with little presents and placed beside our beds; we’re ‘too old for that’. You know, come to think of it I am feeling quite Christmassy. Why else would I decide to do Christmas shopping so early? Why else would I decide to make a Christmas playlist now? Why else would I moan about not putting the tree up? Why else would I make a Christmas avatar? Why else?

Yes, I love Christmas.

Merry Christmas x

I’m a Loser

Disregarding the fact I couldn’t even organise sex in the backroom of a gay nightclub there are a numerous number of reasons why I am in fact a total loser.

1. I pretend I’m in a music video - There have been several occasions when I have pretended that I am not only some kind of megamusicman® but that I am also starring in my own music video, usually when I’m suffering from sleep depravation and a funky 80s track comes on my iPod.
2. I can’t sleep if it’s silent - I dunno why this is and I should probably just take sleeping pills, but I just cannot sleep if it’s silent i.e. without music, a podcast or something.
3. I host a cooking show when I’m making shizzle - I totally stole this from Riley, but I also do it. Whenever I’m alone and I find myself cooking I pretend I’m hosting some kind of cooking show, with instructions et cetera.
4. I shout at the TV - This is totally irrational and it usually happens when the Royal Family or Gordon Brown comes on the news but I do it to an extreme degree.
5. My love life doesn’t exist - I know I’m gonna get shot down for this but fuck it. I’ve never been with anyone.
6. I talk to myself when sat on the toilet - I think this is probably to help me think about things. Some people read things on the toilet (HELLO, HYGENE!) but that’s just disgusting. I think, but usually that involves me talking to myself — whisper actually.
7. I can’t go in public - Kind of a gross one but we were talking about toilets. I find it IMPOSSIBLE to go to the loo when I’m in public. It can be the nicest toilet in the world, and there can be nobody around but I still won’t go. *Shrugs*
8. I have no life - This is obvious, but if you’re reading this you don’t either. I’m spending my Saturday night writing a blog post about things that mean nothing to nobody — exciting.
9. I own a Charlotte Church song - Please, don’t judge me. I was young (12), naïve, I didn’t know what I was doing and she suckered me in with her flat voice and terrible lyrics; I know that now.
10. I listen to music to make myself cry - I don’t know. Sometimes I just get in a mood where there is nothing I want to do more than cry my eyes out and feel sorry for myself. Music people commit suicide to and is listen all around by wrist-slashers and self-harms is good, but I generally find a little Bic Runga, or dare I say it James Blunt (that’s like old skool now).

What Next?

Exam time is almost over (I only have four left— hip-hip-hooray), so what is next in my life? This, I guess is the time when everything changes again; a fresh start so to speak.

I think this is going to be good for me to be perfectly honest. However, I do think I’m gonna miss a lot. I’m leaving way too many people behind in my life, people I don’t want to lose. I know I will though, it’s inevitable. Empty promises are made and people say they will “keep in touch” and “meet up every week” but it doesn’t happen— I know it doesn’t.

I’m also leaving the comfort of school behind. Sure we all complain about it and the teachers, work, and whatever else it contains but we will miss it. Everyone at the moment has this kind of clouded perception of college, that it’s all going to be a breeze— that the workload will be no more than it is right now. I for one cannot see that at all. The workload will be immense and there will be no second chances; a deadline is a deadline for a reason, you miss it and you’re dead.

Then again, it is a fresh start. Even as I leave behind some of the best people I have and ever will meet in my life (you all know who you are [I hope]), I get to meet some new ones. The perceptions people have of me will disappear with new ones will arrive. 

I just hope it doesn’t suck, then all of the sacrifices will not be worth it.