I’m a Loser

Disregarding the fact I couldn’t even organise sex in the backroom of a gay nightclub there are a numerous number of reasons why I am in fact a total loser.

1. I pretend I’m in a music video - There have been several occasions when I have pretended that I am not only some kind of megamusicman® but that I am also starring in my own music video, usually when I’m suffering from sleep depravation and a funky 80s track comes on my iPod.
2. I can’t sleep if it’s silent - I dunno why this is and I should probably just take sleeping pills, but I just cannot sleep if it’s silent i.e. without music, a podcast or something.
3. I host a cooking show when I’m making shizzle - I totally stole this from Riley, but I also do it. Whenever I’m alone and I find myself cooking I pretend I’m hosting some kind of cooking show, with instructions et cetera.
4. I shout at the TV - This is totally irrational and it usually happens when the Royal Family or Gordon Brown comes on the news but I do it to an extreme degree.
5. My love life doesn’t exist - I know I’m gonna get shot down for this but fuck it. I’ve never been with anyone.
6. I talk to myself when sat on the toilet - I think this is probably to help me think about things. Some people read things on the toilet (HELLO, HYGENE!) but that’s just disgusting. I think, but usually that involves me talking to myself — whisper actually.
7. I can’t go in public - Kind of a gross one but we were talking about toilets. I find it IMPOSSIBLE to go to the loo when I’m in public. It can be the nicest toilet in the world, and there can be nobody around but I still won’t go. *Shrugs*
8. I have no life - This is obvious, but if you’re reading this you don’t either. I’m spending my Saturday night writing a blog post about things that mean nothing to nobody — exciting.
9. I own a Charlotte Church song - Please, don’t judge me. I was young (12), naïve, I didn’t know what I was doing and she suckered me in with her flat voice and terrible lyrics; I know that now.
10. I listen to music to make myself cry - I don’t know. Sometimes I just get in a mood where there is nothing I want to do more than cry my eyes out and feel sorry for myself. Music people commit suicide to and is listen all around by wrist-slashers and self-harms is good, but I generally find a little Bic Runga, or dare I say it James Blunt (that’s like old skool now).

I Just Need To…

I just need to:

• Tell you how I feel.
• Apologise to a few people.
• Eat some cake.
• Relax.
• Get a job.
• Try and get along with certain people.
• Stop being a ‘pansy’.
• Work a few things out.
• Tidy my room.
• Have an early night.
• Take some more photos.
• Cut down on the bitching.
• Work out.
• Save some money.
• Visit the neurologist.
• Read some more.
• Get up earlier.
• Skype.
• AIM.
• Facebook.
• Finish watching Torchwood.
• Update my portfolio.
• Block some people.
• Get a haircut.
• Go clothes shopping.
• Watch Harry Potter.
• Catchup with my filmlist®.
• Survive.

Summerlist®

As well as the ‘In The Summertime’ playlist, I decided I’d write a list of all the things I would like to (but probably won’t get around to doing) this summer.

1. Go on holiday // This one is a dead cert. The family and I are off for a week to Goodrington/Paington/Torbay — I’m gonna feel like a kid again; it was always one of our top destinations when I was younger.
2. Get a job // This I cannot see happening if I’m honest, but it sure would be nice. I’ve applied to a few places already with no success, and not many are hiring at all. [Looks like I got a job after all. I'm a checkout dude in Sainsbury's]
3. Barbecue // We’ve already had a couple this year, and I guess this is just hoping the weather stays good enough for more.
4. Read- a lot // As I’ve got nothing else to do I can see this being possible. There is nothing better than reading a good book by the pool or on the beach; I’m currently reading Stephen King’s ‘Misery’. I want some more stuff to read, so let me know if you know of anything.
5. Have a moviemarathon™ // Mr. Hanks may be coming back out as I need something to watch now that I’ve almost finished watching ‘House’. [Did this with Tor last night ]
6. Photograph // I want to photograph more people as I don’t really get a chance to. Holiday should be a chance to do this.
7. Not worry about my GCSEs // This is one thing that is not going to happen. I worry too much and the closer it gets to the results day, the more worried I seem to get.
8. Coffee // This may seem a bit loser-ish, but blame Oscar— he suggested it. I guess coffee is just an excuse to meet up with friends to make sure we don’t lose contact, and there’s the fact that Pret’s coffee is amazing /trufax! [I met up for coffee with Oscar and Charlie, and then we went for coffee with Chris and Charlotte during Tweetup West]
9. Bike ride // This would mean getting my bike fixed, but I think it would be a lot of fun. The county is literally 5 miles away from my house and cycling over to there with my camera would be awesome. Just gotta see if I can drag some lazy people with me.
10. Picnic // I have never had a planned, proper picnic with friends. [Did this last week, it may not have been as planned as I would have liked, but it was a picnic and it was with friends].
11. Fishing // I went mackerel fishing with school on camp way back when and I’ve always wanted to try it again — can’t see it happening though.
12. Paintballing // I’ve always been too much of a pussy to try this as everyone has said it hurts, maybe this year is the time to actually do it.
13. Learn guitar // Duncan, master of the acoustic, has made me want to learn the guitar badly. Being able to play Ryan Adam’s ‘I See Monsters’ would be epic.
14. Tweetup // Tweetup West is coming up and I hope all the awesome people I chat to on a day to day basis are coming. [The tweetup wasn't really a success, but it was darn fun hanging out with Chris and Charlotte <3]