I’m a Loser

Disregarding the fact I couldn’t even organise sex in the backroom of a gay nightclub there are a numerous number of reasons why I am in fact a total loser.

1. I pretend I’m in a music video - There have been several occasions when I have pretended that I am not only some kind of megamusicman® but that I am also starring in my own music video, usually when I’m suffering from sleep depravation and a funky 80s track comes on my iPod.
2. I can’t sleep if it’s silent - I dunno why this is and I should probably just take sleeping pills, but I just cannot sleep if it’s silent i.e. without music, a podcast or something.
3. I host a cooking show when I’m making shizzle - I totally stole this from Riley, but I also do it. Whenever I’m alone and I find myself cooking I pretend I’m hosting some kind of cooking show, with instructions et cetera.
4. I shout at the TV - This is totally irrational and it usually happens when the Royal Family or Gordon Brown comes on the news but I do it to an extreme degree.
5. My love life doesn’t exist - I know I’m gonna get shot down for this but fuck it. I’ve never been with anyone.
6. I talk to myself when sat on the toilet - I think this is probably to help me think about things. Some people read things on the toilet (HELLO, HYGENE!) but that’s just disgusting. I think, but usually that involves me talking to myself — whisper actually.
7. I can’t go in public - Kind of a gross one but we were talking about toilets. I find it IMPOSSIBLE to go to the loo when I’m in public. It can be the nicest toilet in the world, and there can be nobody around but I still won’t go. *Shrugs*
8. I have no life - This is obvious, but if you’re reading this you don’t either. I’m spending my Saturday night writing a blog post about things that mean nothing to nobody — exciting.
9. I own a Charlotte Church song - Please, don’t judge me. I was young (12), naïve, I didn’t know what I was doing and she suckered me in with her flat voice and terrible lyrics; I know that now.
10. I listen to music to make myself cry - I don’t know. Sometimes I just get in a mood where there is nothing I want to do more than cry my eyes out and feel sorry for myself. Music people commit suicide to and is listen all around by wrist-slashers and self-harms is good, but I generally find a little Bic Runga, or dare I say it James Blunt (that’s like old skool now).

‘In The Summertime’

Summertime is almost upon us in the UK; as a result I felt it was time to update the age-old summer playlist with the help of some friends (namely Chris Leydon). Below is a list of the tracks on the updates playlist as well as a link to the Spotify playlist (there would be some Beatles if they got their ass online). While all of these songs are not typical ’summer’ songs, they are what I like to listen to in the summer and I think they’re ’summery’.

1. Lighthouse Family – High
2. Bill Withers – Lovely Day
3. The Kinks – Sunny Afternoon
4. The Lovin’ Spoonful – Summer in the City
5. Mungo Jerry – In The Summertime
6. Stereophonics – Have A Nice Day
7. Travis – Flowers in the Window
8. Paul Simon – Kodachrome
9. The Corrs – Summer Sunshine
10. Moby – Porcelain
11. Duran Duran – Rio
12. Meat Loaf – You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth (Hot Summer Night)
13. Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band – Girls in Their Summer Clothes
14. Corinne Bailey Rae – Put Your Records On
15. Journey – Don’t Stop Believin’
16. The Beach Boys – Surfin’ USA
17. Manic Street Preachers – If You Tolerate This Your Children Will Be Next
18. Sting – Fields of Gold
19. Nena – 99 Red Balloons
20. Dario G – Sunchyme - Radio Edit
21. Newton Faulkner – Dream Catch Me
22. Jack Penate – Torn on the Platform
23. First Class – Beach Baby
24. Bill Withers – Ain’t No Sunshine
25. Wham! – Club Tropicana
26. Bryan Adams – Summer of ‘69
27. Nina Simone – Feeling Good
28. The Isley Brothers – Summer Breeze
29. Madonna – Holiday
30. Bruce Willis – Under the Boardwalk
31. Bananarama – Cruel Summer
32. Jack Johnson – Banana Pancakes
33. The Kooks – Seaside
34. Jason Mraz – I’m Yours
35. Laura Izibor – Shine
36. Bishop Allen – Click, Click, Click, Click

It’s Chriiiiiiist-maaaaaaaaaaas.

It’s that time of the year, (unless you celebrate Eid, then it’s Monday) where you count the days until the fat dude with his red suit comes tumbling down your chimney.

I’m still a little kid inside, and I still get Mum to buy me an Advent calendar every year. I love Christmas, and I’ve been listening to Christmas music all week. I thought I’d take the opportunity to show you my top 10 Christmas songs.

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